“There’s some lead in my feet now. There’s a little of me, but I don’t know where. I’m too young to quit now.” ~The Preatures, Is This How You Feel
I can’t say I have had a lot of guys knocking on my door to take me out the past year. Part of me is certain I gave off negative energy for a while so approaching me didn’t seem welcome. The other part of me is aware half of my friends are guys and most guys will avoid talking to a girl hanging out with a group of dudes. I get that. HOWEVER, there are plenty of times I am out and open to someone new with girls only. Still, there was a solid 6-8 months where the only men interested in me were my Uber drivers. That’s a lie. The timeframe is more like since my divorce which is much longer than 8 months ago. I never fancied myself to be good at small talk. But apparently, I nail it when trapped in a vehicle. I actually hate talking to my drivers, but I am too nervous about getting a bad passenger rating to not talk back. So I talk and whatever nonsense I am rambling about is totally killing it with my drivers. I often wonder how many other women they’re asking out, but since most of my nights are not even met with eye contact from other guys… I end up chalking it up as a win. I’m fully aware this is sad.
“Still, there was a solid 6-8 months where the only men interested in me were my Uber drivers.”
My friends tell me guys don’t ask girls out anymore unless it is online. Is that a thing? If so, I am in big trouble. I have a fear of online dating. It’s quite possibly an irrational fear, but it’s a fear nonetheless. As I over-analyze why I am killing it with Uber drivers and not the general public, I find myself comparing the two. Is getting into your Uber that much different from a first date? You’re both strangers and only know what your profile says. You have to go off what their picture looks like. You’re both pretty much stuck with each other for a while. Ninety-nine percent of the time you kill the awkward silence by starting to talk about the weather. The only differences I can assume, being that I’ve never seen an online dating site, is that your Uber driver now knows where you live and you aren’t sharing a meal. I try not to over think the “knowing where you live” thing so I can sleep at night. That’s not to say your online date person doesn’t know where you live. It’s just that if my Dateline addiction has taught me anything it’s to not have that person meet me at my house. (Also pray you know a police officer who can conduct a background check. Don’t move in together within six months because you’ll surely be stabbed to death for your life insurance policy or his pregnant side chick before you celebrate two years together.) I’m rambling. See what my drivers are putting up with? Why is this attractive and not a red flag for them?
For the last year I have been mortified at the thought of going on a first date and getting to know a complete stranger. I have had a sinking feeling I wouldn’t have anything to say or talk about. I feared I wouldn’t be pretty enough, cool enough, etc. All of the things us ladies like to second guess. (I also worried about my head ending up in a freezer because Dateline….) But it has recently occurred to me, I’ve been going on two first dates each Friday and Saturday night for the last year. Who knew? I need to stop stressing and start taking a chance on a person in public rather than when I’m trapped in a super clean Toyota Camry with my Uber driver. (Or does modern love require me to join a dating site, find them in a search and request a date even though they’re standing right next to me?) Maybe I will do just fine if I turn around and just start talking to someone in public after all.
Thanks for the first date practice, Uber!