Describe Yourself…

“My kind of medicine is whiskey straight. I got a mouth to put you in your place. They said I’ll never be the poster type, but they don’t make posters of my kind of life.” ~Elle King, America’s Sweetheart

I recently participated in one of those trending things on social media. The deal with this one was to describe yourself by using three fictional characters. Most of my friends took a humorous route, which I appreciate. I enjoy self-deprecating jokes. I took the bait and created my own. I surprised myself by how much thought I put into this. I landed on the following peeps:

  • Liz Lemon (from 30 Rock played by Tina Fey)
  • Mary Katherine Gallagher (from SNL played by Molly Shannon)
  • Murray Goldberg (from The Goldberg’s played by Jeff Garlin)

Many times when watching these characters on television I thought, “Oh snap. That’s me.” Why? Let me explain:

Liz Lemon. If there were ever a character I identified with more, I haven’t met her. In the pilot episode she was described by her boss as: “New York third-wave feminist, college-educated, single-and-pretending-to-be-happy-about-it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says ‘healthy body image’ on the cover and every two years you take up knitting for…a week”. Swap New York with Chicago and knitting with this Tracy Anderson workout DVD I’ve owned for 8 years and that’s me. Her social skills with dudes are awkward but direct usually resulting in confusion or disgust on the guy’s part. We both love Ina Garten, sweater weather, food and television. She doesn’t like stereotypical female interests and hates the word “lovers” unless it’s between meat and pizza. It’s like she’s in my brain.

Mary Katherine Gallagher. She’s a Catholic school girl who is clumsy, nerdy and accidentally flashes her underwear. I am all of the above. She never quite fits in with the Catholic school crowd, which was and still is me to a T. I’m also prone to crashing into furniture except it’s not as funny as when she does it.

Murray Goldberg. This was easy. No pants after work, he’s blunt, realistic and values hard work. Check, check, check and check!

There were a few that didn’t make the list that I debated using. Here is a short list of who didn’t make it:

  • Garfield – naps and lasagna
  • Leslie Knope – sick work organizational skills, loves and would do anything for her friends, sense of humor, loves waffles
  • Darlene Conner – tomboyish, sarcasm

Typically I find these things silly, but I actually enjoyed this one. It was fun to see who everyone chose, and I have to say most really nailed it! I’m considering using these characters for answers on dates or when meeting dudes if I’m ever asked to describe myself. Then I’ll be sure to make a mental notes of their reactions and time how quickly they leave…

Author: Penny Lame

I can find humor in almost everything. These are my stories.

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