Party of One

“I don’t go ’round trying to be what I’m not. I don’t waste my time trying to get what you got. I work at pleasing me ’cause I can’t please you, and that’s why I do what I do. My soul flies free like a willow tree. Doo wee doo wee doo wee.” ~Erykah Badu, Apple Tree

Drinking alone. Those two words spark a feeling in almost everyone. Some think it’s sad and horrible. Actually, most people have negative views about it. Me? I think drinking alone is awesome. It’s not sad at all. I can think of plenty of times I had drinks with people and felt terrible. Well, because they were terrible, acting terrible…just shitty people in general. Do you know who is not shitty and terrible when I have drinks with her? Me. I am super nice to me, I let me pick the music to dance around the house to (sometimes I have pants on, sometimes not…I don’t judge me), I let me pick the tv shows to lounge to, I make sure I have a warm blanket when watching the shows I let me pick, I fix me my favorite snacks and make sure my glass is always full. How is this sad?

Even on the rare occasion I go to a bar alone or am (as always) early to meet friends so order a drink while I wait, I am not sad. Do you know what usually ruins my drink? Annoying people at the bar. So…where did this drinking alone = sad thing come from? I have a few theories:

  • People turn to alcohol when they’re sad and lonely so now EVERYONE who drinks alone is sad and lonely. This is dumb.
  • There is an overwhelming point of view that being alone IS sad and lonely…says people who hate their relationship and want you to get in one quick so you can join them in misery. If you add that theory + booze = you’re a sad sack of shit. Also dumb.
  • Alcohol is a depressant, so if you choose to drink this in your own company, you’re a loser…but if you make this choice with friends it’s a party? Dumb logic.

You see where I’m going with this, right? I think it will be a while before the majority of people stop confusing being alone with being lonely. Two totally different things. I felt completely and utterly alone when I was married. Drinking on the couch watching movies with him was sad most times for me. That is not the story I tell anymore.

In fact, I have a weekly routine to treat myself to drinks. I stop by a cool wine shop by my house that has free Thursday night tastings. I drive there after work, sample a few, buy what I like and enjoy my weekend drinks with me if I stay in! See? I’m so good to me.

Next time you get home from work, stay in on a Friday, stop in a bar to have a drink…don’t let the question or doubts of whether or not it’s sad creep in. It’s not. It’s sad to deprive yourself of a Friday night where you make yourself dinner and drinks while Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation is blaring then break into a solo routine in your kitchen…for example…