“But maybe I’ll be the one to roll you over. I’ll call when I wanna, call you honey magnolia. And I’ll be the one to let you know when the sweet taste is gone. And it’s over, honey magnolia.” ~Brian Fallon, Honey Magnolia.
We’ve all been told not to do this. “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” “Only worry about those who matter.” Yet I’ve never been told how to not sweat the small stuff when it comes to human interaction. Material things? I don’t care. They mean nothing to me, but people do.
Maybe how to not sweat the small stuff is obvious to most, but it’s not to me. Maybe it’s something that takes practice. I don’t even know how or what to practice. I sweat all the stuff. Big and small. I put energy and effort into people that don’t do the same for me. This is what it does to me:
- It makes me feel terrible.
- I lose sleep.
- I sometimes just sit, worry and think of bullshit scenarios.
- I waste my own time.
- I temporarily lose focus on the things and people that DO matter. People that are present, in front of my face or calling/texting me because they care.
- I waste their time because I’m talking about the things that bothered me and people that don’t care about me when we should be spending time talking about cool shit that matters.
This is dumb, but I don’t know how to stop. I have come to the conclusion giving advice about not sweating the small stuff is much, much easier said than done. So why do I do it? I have thought about this over and over again. I concluded that it’s for two reasons. The first being it bugs the absolute shit out of me when people are rude because they think you’ll just put up with it. I will fuss over someone’s lack of consideration for my time and feelings and how to react for way longer than I should. The second is because I worry about hurting the feelings of people who don’t think twice about hurting mine. No one likes getting their feelings hurt. I don’t like to be the cause of that for anyone, so I fuss over how to say things the right way, doing the “right” thing…for everyone, even when they are being unfair. I think it’s time I look I the mirror and have a long heart-to-heart with me.
I’ve gained a lot of internal strength in the last two years. My new priority is changing my view from thinking standing up for myself and not putting up with people’s shit is somehow hurtful to them. That standing up for myself equates not being nice. The “right” thing is taking care of me. This might be my toughest challenge yet…